Vegan Humor

5 Things Every Vegan Understands # Vegan Problems

It takes a special person to be vegan. You have to live contrary to what 90% of the population thinks is normal. Vegan Problems. You will most likely live a life your friends and family don’t understand. You will have to do five times as much work just to decide if you can eat something on your grocery store shelves. You will question if you are getting enough vitamins and nutrients. You will eat alone many times. You will learn to bring your own food to many places you used to just buy food.

All of those things are common place for a lot of vegans. But we have some very specific and sometimes humorous things we share that only other  vegans can relate to. Like what you may ask? Well I’m happy to share with you, starting with number 1 below!

1. You must constantly explain to people what you would eat if you were stranded on a deserted island with a pig. Yes, I don’t know why they always say you are there with a pig. Why isn’t it ever a cow or a chicken? I have no idea. Either way it’s amusing when they think they are being smart, and this little fantasy scenario will suddenly make you break down and confess you really want to eat a pig!

vegan on deserted island

2. Having to suddenly become an expert on why plants don’t have feelings. Before you were vegan none of your friends ever once considered the feelings of broccoli. Now that you’re vegan, they all want to know how you feel about making your broccoli scream in pain when you eat it. Why? Because they suddenly realized that plants have feelings too. Just like animals!

plants vs animals

3. Suddenly coming to the knowledge that even though no one has ever died from a protein deficiency ever, you will probably die from lack of protein. Yes, your friends and family are suddenly nutrition experts and the one thing they know more than anything else…you are not getting enough protein. Never mind the fact that most deficiencies that people have died from over the years are things you get plenty of in fruits and vegetables.

Scurvy (vitamin C), Night Blindness (vitamin A), Pellagra (vitamin B3), Paresthesia (vitamin B5), Megaloblastic Anemia (vitamin Vitamin B9 and B12), Rickets (Vitamin D), Sterility (vitamin E),  Bleeding Diathesis (Vitamin K). All of these are very real and very serious diseases caused by deficiency.

protein

On the other hand, the CDC says protein deficiency is nearly unheard of in adults. Even in impoverished nations. The daily recommendation for protein is 46g for women and 55g for men. And other organizations like WHO say that even those numbers are too high. Don’t worry. You are much less likely to have any kind of disease from lack of protein than your friends and family are from lack of the many other vitamins.

4. Thinking that just because you are vegan now everything you eat will be healthy. When I went vegan I gained 10 pounds! I was eating so much vegan junk food. Everything I ate was so delicious and I kept telling myself “It’s vegan so it’s OK to eat as much as I want!”  And then you realize this isn’t true at all. There are vegan junk foods everywhere and even though they are friendly to animals, they may not be friends to your hips and thighs.

junk food

 

5. Having someone tell you they went vegan for 3 days, or 5 days and how they nearly died.

It goes something like this: “Oh, I tried the vegan thing for 3 days. Yeah. It was sooooo horrible, I nearly died. I could neverrrrrrrr be vegan.” Of course 3 to 5 days is about how long it takes to start moving past your body’s addiction to meat, fat, too much protein and all the other horrible things you have been putting in your body. It’s like when a meth addict stops doing meth. Of course the first week is going to be horrible. Your body is in withdrawal. That doesn’t mean the meth was a good thing for you.

idiots

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14 Comments

  1. I love this article! I heard someone say recently that we need animal fat for the nutrients. I am leaning into it and want to be 100 percent. I have had a hard time dealing with other people, mostly from my husband. The whole dairy debate being the worse. I have not had hardly any support either. But it’s ok.

  2. All of that is the least frustrating things about being a vegan. Being a male vegan is somewhat annoying at first. Like going down to the pub and having a beer with friends and putting up with their jokes. For example:
    “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and the way to a vegan man’s heart is through his vagina.”

  3. All I can say is that I love my vegan life. I’m 51, been vegetarian since I was a wee 9 year old. Vegan since 1997. I get the eye rolls and the “why would do that, bacon is so good”. I smile. I’m awesome. 🙂

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